A Dreamer Walking

Blog Update

Posted in Personal Philosophy by Jacob on October 29, 2014

So here is one way to get back on track. Set a goal to not stand up from your chair until you hit the little “publish” button on the corner of your “Add New Post” page. I mean, I see it as a win win situation. If I don’t go through with this none of you will ever know. But if I do I will be able to update my blog and feel extremely accomplished because my NUMEROUS fans have something new to read. Another way to get something posted is to not worry about the edit. I mean even now I feel like I am writing some pretty long sentences and using some really lazy words like (“like”), “extremely”, “I mean”,  “pretty”, and “really”. Thank goodness I have been driven away from the word “that” or I would “really” be screwed. Just to let you readers know the majority of my time writing is spent re-writing. My philosophy is to basically puke everything out as quickly as possible and then go over it a few hundred times until I think it is presentable. After doing this I usually send a link of the paper to my mother to review. The big twist here is my mother is not your typical “put your crappy 2nd grade drawing on the refrigerator for everyone to see” type mother. She is a high school English teacher who absolutely shatters any ego her students might have had about writing before taking her class. I am not joking when I tell you I had students come up to me asking how I possibly could survive doing home school with a woman as intense and consuming as my mother. For essay assignments she would take out a red pen and bleed all over our papers we wrote. She said the red stuff she wrote on our papers was ink, but to this day I still think there is a chance she put a little blood in there just for some dramatic effect. Oh shoot! I just realized how long this paragraph is. Way too long if you ask my mother. I mean she is not a fan of really short paragraphs because they suggest the student doesn’t really have much to say. But if you make your paragraph too long you will lose your readers in it. It (Yes mom, I just ended the last and started this sentence with the word “it”) suggests you don’t know the points you are trying to make or how to move on. Anyway, I might as well…

There we go! As I was saying. My mother is an extremely critical teacher who expects the most out of her students. And I had the pleasure of being her only student my senior year of high school. I dropped out of public school because my mother and I were not happy with the way they were dealing with my dyslexia. For some reason the public school thought because I couldn’t read or write as well as their other students, they should just take it easy on me and let me participate in the “easy” classes. The problem here is I was actually interested in learning and my mother thought it was important for me to figure out a way to express my ideas. So alas, (before I go on I am going to re-read what I wrote so I know where the heck I’m going here) I dropped out of public school and she began to actually teach me.

My senior year of home school was the most pivotal year of my life. Though writing has never been something I was naturally good at, my mother was determined to get me to master the craft. After she realized me “mastering the craft” was like asking an elephant to fly, she became content with getting me to be able to express my ideas through the craft. The big problem was at first I wasn’t willing to buy in. I thought she wanted what everyone else wanted me to do. I thought she was teaching me sentence structure, grammar, how to build a body, how to edit, and how to stay on task in order for me to jump through a few more necessary hoops this world required of me. (This is what I like to call “The Edge”. It’s where you know you are getting to a good point but don’t quite know how to  make the jump so you could say what is really needed to make the point in a way that sticks. It’s this time in my writing where I hit “save” and close the post so it could think about it for a day or so. But I can’t do that if I want to stick to my goal I made 😦 ). I had enough of this worlds “hoops”. I wasn’t going to let anyone, including my mother, make me jump through them anymore.

The change came when I realized a profound yet simple thing. My mother wasn’t teaching me to write in order to make me jump through hoops. She was teaching me to write in order to reach my destination. She understood my dreams and the value of my ideas and needed to give me a way to express them. Hence this blog.

This blog was created as a way to express my ideas. As someone who wants to become a great filmmaker I knew it wasn’t good enough to just watch movies, listen to filmmakers talk about their craft, and come up with great ideas myself. I needed to know how to express my ideas for the world to see. Filmmaking is the ultimate collaborative art-form. You not only need to know your stuff, you need to know how to express your knowledge to others. Writing has become one of my most valuable tools in expressing myself. I test myself every time I write a paper. I force myself to not just come up with an idea but explain myself with my body paragraphs and come to a clear point with my conclusion. My writing has gotten to the point where I realize the value of each word I write. If you get lazy with what you say you will lose your audience. But, if you are able to know what words to put in, what words to change, and at times what words to take out, you might manage to say something truly profound.

So (no it wasn’t my goal to start my first and last paragraph with the word “So”. But am I going to change it? Um…. NO!) there you go. Someday I might take this and actually give it a good edit so I could make my point in a clearer way. But the goal for this particular post was not to write my best stuff. Rather, it was to get something useful out there for others to see. And I think I have done that! (Yes I am ending my paper with the word “that”).

4 Responses

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  1. The Animation Commendation said, on October 29, 2014 at 7:04 am

    Hey, it’s better than nothing!

    • Jacob said, on October 29, 2014 at 4:06 pm

      Yes it is! I just needed to get it out there so I could make for myself another deadline. Now I have a week. Hopefully I could get an actual good one done by then.

  2. freetradeftw said, on November 4, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this, it was a lot of fun reading something that had a much less formal tone to it.

    • Jacob said, on November 4, 2014 at 11:09 pm

      I will try to take that as a compliment Josh. However, I really try to avoid being formal in all my writing. “formal” to me suggest one lacks a voice. I think the key to find that happy medium where you are making your point clearly while also entertaining the audience. You can’t really be very entertaining if you lack any personality. The thing about writing is it’s not natural to me. Put a camera in my hands and I really feel like I know what to do and even when I can’t describe it, I usually have a inner, as Clint Eastwood likes to say, “Gut” feeling about what works. Not so with writing. Because of this I had a hard time learning the rules. But the problem I am running into now is letting go of the rules. You know the saying, “You need to know the rules in order to break them”? Well I really do think I know the majority of the rules now, I just am way more insecure about how to break them. This was kind of an exercise in breaking the rules; where I intentionally went the opposite way I have been pushed to go by my lovely English Teacher mother. I pushed myself to a point where I (along with my mom) am not comfortable. To be honest I really want to clean this whole mess of a blog up. But, I will keep it as is. And maybe I will start to lean just a little bit this way next time I write a “formal” paper.


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