A Dreamer Walking

Blog Update

Posted in Personal Philosophy by Jacob on October 29, 2014

So here is one way to get back on track. Set a goal to not stand up from your chair until you hit the little “publish” button on the corner of your “Add New Post” page. I mean, I see it as a win win situation. If I don’t go through with this none of you will ever know. But if I do I will be able to update my blog and feel extremely accomplished because my NUMEROUS fans have something new to read. Another way to get something posted is to not worry about the edit. I mean even now I feel like I am writing some pretty long sentences and using some really lazy words like (“like”), “extremely”, “I mean”,  “pretty”, and “really”. Thank goodness I have been driven away from the word “that” or I would “really” be screwed. Just to let you readers know the majority of my time writing is spent re-writing. My philosophy is to basically puke everything out as quickly as possible and then go over it a few hundred times until I think it is presentable. After doing this I usually send a link of the paper to my mother to review. The big twist here is my mother is not your typical “put your crappy 2nd grade drawing on the refrigerator for everyone to see” type mother. She is a high school English teacher who absolutely shatters any ego her students might have had about writing before taking her class. I am not joking when I tell you I had students come up to me asking how I possibly could survive doing home school with a woman as intense and consuming as my mother. For essay assignments she would take out a red pen and bleed all over our papers we wrote. She said the red stuff she wrote on our papers was ink, but to this day I still think there is a chance she put a little blood in there just for some dramatic effect. Oh shoot! I just realized how long this paragraph is. Way too long if you ask my mother. I mean she is not a fan of really short paragraphs because they suggest the student doesn’t really have much to say. But if you make your paragraph too long you will lose your readers in it. It (Yes mom, I just ended the last and started this sentence with the word “it”) suggests you don’t know the points you are trying to make or how to move on. Anyway, I might as well…

There we go! As I was saying. My mother is an extremely critical teacher who expects the most out of her students. And I had the pleasure of being her only student my senior year of high school. I dropped out of public school because my mother and I were not happy with the way they were dealing with my dyslexia. For some reason the public school thought because I couldn’t read or write as well as their other students, they should just take it easy on me and let me participate in the “easy” classes. The problem here is I was actually interested in learning and my mother thought it was important for me to figure out a way to express my ideas. So alas, (before I go on I am going to re-read what I wrote so I know where the heck I’m going here) I dropped out of public school and she began to actually teach me.

My senior year of home school was the most pivotal year of my life. Though writing has never been something I was naturally good at, my mother was determined to get me to master the craft. After she realized me “mastering the craft” was like asking an elephant to fly, she became content with getting me to be able to express my ideas through the craft. The big problem was at first I wasn’t willing to buy in. I thought she wanted what everyone else wanted me to do. I thought she was teaching me sentence structure, grammar, how to build a body, how to edit, and how to stay on task in order for me to jump through a few more necessary hoops this world required of me. (This is what I like to call “The Edge”. It’s where you know you are getting to a good point but don’t quite know how to  make the jump so you could say what is really needed to make the point in a way that sticks. It’s this time in my writing where I hit “save” and close the post so it could think about it for a day or so. But I can’t do that if I want to stick to my goal I made 😦 ). I had enough of this worlds “hoops”. I wasn’t going to let anyone, including my mother, make me jump through them anymore.

The change came when I realized a profound yet simple thing. My mother wasn’t teaching me to write in order to make me jump through hoops. She was teaching me to write in order to reach my destination. She understood my dreams and the value of my ideas and needed to give me a way to express them. Hence this blog.

This blog was created as a way to express my ideas. As someone who wants to become a great filmmaker I knew it wasn’t good enough to just watch movies, listen to filmmakers talk about their craft, and come up with great ideas myself. I needed to know how to express my ideas for the world to see. Filmmaking is the ultimate collaborative art-form. You not only need to know your stuff, you need to know how to express your knowledge to others. Writing has become one of my most valuable tools in expressing myself. I test myself every time I write a paper. I force myself to not just come up with an idea but explain myself with my body paragraphs and come to a clear point with my conclusion. My writing has gotten to the point where I realize the value of each word I write. If you get lazy with what you say you will lose your audience. But, if you are able to know what words to put in, what words to change, and at times what words to take out, you might manage to say something truly profound.

So (no it wasn’t my goal to start my first and last paragraph with the word “So”. But am I going to change it? Um…. NO!) there you go. Someday I might take this and actually give it a good edit so I could make my point in a clearer way. But the goal for this particular post was not to write my best stuff. Rather, it was to get something useful out there for others to see. And I think I have done that! (Yes I am ending my paper with the word “that”).